None compares

I love DCB's new album, Church Music, and it has been my constant companion at work. Yesterday was kinda a bad day for me. The more I focused on my current situation, the better I became and the darker my thoughts. The darkness peaked yesterday and there was so much misery within me. Thank God, after committing everything to God last night and starting on a fresh slate this morning, my mood improved by leaps and bounds. My situation hasn't changed much...but my perspective and attitude has changed. This 5 month job is but a transition for me. Honestly it doesn't matter what I'm going through now 'cos it is only 5 months and as long I make the best of what I can with 5 months, I can move on to where I should be. As long I'm progressing, it's all that matters. To be honest, I am someone who places a lot of value on success and failure and this emphasis made me who I am today. Would I be so risk averse if I wasn't so fearful of failure? I don't know. All I know is I took many steps of faith in this year...and it is very good growth for me. This is also a period where I learn to enjoy the process more.

Spoilers are my kind of thing. I like it when I know the ending to stories, the conclusion to a problem or the result of decisions made in the past. God works differently, as I am finding out. If I know everything then there is no need for God in the picture and there is no power in prayer since everything is already pre-destined. There is no need to put in my best when I already know the end result is failure. There is no point to anything actually. All my recent blog posts are about my walk with God and my job. If it isn't obvious enough, it is because I am hanging on to God in this area of my life and I can say that He is faithful. :)

Anyway, I don't think this company I'm currently working in will be the one I'll be working for in the long term. Just a feeling. This job experience is to better my interpersonal skills and increase my confidence, I feel. Things will work out somehow.

Some people in my cell are planning a trip to Japan next year, April...and gosh, I really want to go! Judging by my current financial situation, it'd be very tough. I estimate I need at least $4000 for the trip. Still, I'm gonna save and hopefully accumulate enough savings to go for the trip. It's Nihon- one of my top to-visit countries! Yeah...I really wanna go there. We'll see how things work out lah. Meanwhile, I'll try to scrimp and save for the trip. My expenses have gone up A LOT ever since I started working. There is a certain level of financial freedom...but the more I work, the more things I have to buy. Eye gel, moisturiser, vit. c tablets, evening primrose tablets, shoes, clothes, make-up, etc. Usually I won't spend money on health supplements but now I feel I have to. Working is very tiring on the body so I felt I needed Vit. C to keep my immune system strong, same goes for the evening primrose. The eye gel is needed 'cos the concealer made my eye area VERY dry. Haha. In fact, it was sooo urgent that once I got my pay, I bought one from the stores. So far it is serving me well. :) My sis gave me an Ipsa light moisturiser yesterday night- SAVIOUR! Haha. Just kidding, but yeah, I am SO thankful 'cos now I can save on a moisturising serum. My face cannot be too dry or it will keep oiling up to compensate for the lack of surface oils. All these problem plus make-up. Oh man. My skin is undergoing a lot of 'testing' recently. Yeah but thank God my skin condition didn't deteriorate a lot. In all, my face condition is still under control and monitoring. Haha.

There is gonna be a building fire drill this Thurs. So fun. Haha. Very thankful that my office is located on the lowest level of my company, which is on the 19th storey (still very high)! Haha. but at least it isn't on the 35th storey.

Okayyyy gtg. BYE