Blurry eyed

My vision for my left eye is slightly blurred now. It may have something to do with the contact lens. I am monitoring the situation for the time being. If it doesn't get better then I'll have to see a doctor. Sigh. Okay.

The interview today went fine. I thought it went ok lah. I know I say this for all my interviews but really, I don't know how else to describe it. The people who interviewed me were "ok people". They neither left a particularly good impression on me nor a bad one. The other lady who was introduced me is probably the person whom the selected candidate will be working under. She didn't mention her title and I forgot to ask, hence the guesswork now. She appeared a little "dry", as if work had sucked out all the life in her. That was the feeling I got from her. Both the interviewers made the job seemed completely trashy and mundane, which I am not sure if that was their intention. Like a warning of some sort to any potential candidate: "what we say is what you will get so don't you dare quit on us". Haha. Yeah. That was how I felt. The job scope...well, I don't like the receptionist part of the job. I'm really not to keen to do any receptionist duties but you know what, whatever. I tried to appear enthusiastic but I didn't want to seem overly-enthusiastic 'cos that would look darn fake. Aiyah, let's just say that I've tried my best and I gave my best attitude with regards to the job. If it works out then fine, I'll take the job. Crappy or not, I don't care anymore. If it doesn't work out then okay, I'll just continue looking for another job.

I am seriously tempted to go all dark and negative now but I will not. How much more do I have to go through seriously? I don't know. I wouldn't say all these happened for no reason 'cos I have grown from all these. Stronger, in a way. Through all these, I am learning how to better deal with failure...or perceived failure. Failure is one of my greater fears, I think...and now I am being put through it again and again. But you know what, if this is what I have to go through in order to move on to the next stage, in order to become a stronger and better me, then fine, I'll go through it. Each and every one of them. I don't want to stay weak, not knowing how to deal with the storms in life. How could I be so easily crushed? So easily swayed and affected? So easily defeated? Friggin' weak lah! I cannot accept this. Oh, is this called the human spirit? Shrug.

There is another interview on Monday, a 5-month contract thing as an admin asst in a Japanese bank. I'm not that big on contract jobs or working for a Japanese company but nvm, it's fine. Whichever job opens up, I'll just take. I NEED THE MONEY. I AM SICK OF STAYING AT HOME & HONESTLY, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. LIKE WHATEVER! This could be a positive thing for me. Letting go all of my thoughts and expectations and whatsoever. There are many things I wanna buy so I need an income. AHHHH. Yeah okay.

I'm not thrilled but I'm not unhappy. It's good, I think. I used to be so easily affected by the outcomes of events but now, I'm more "stable". Got interview, just go lor. No interview then apply job lor. Don't have to moan and mop or feel crappy and be weak. I AM DARN STRONG! Okay lah, I'm still a work-in-progress- striving towards perfection. As long I'm progressing, it's all good.

Conclusion is: I'm good and everything is good.

Gonna catch some sleep now. My left eye is still bothering me. :(

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Added @ 2:18pm: Haven't had my nap. Haha. Have you read the latest news? Singtel won the bid to the Barclays Premier League and ESPN Starsports will be moving over to MioTV. I think we should just cancel the sports group channels. I don't even watch much cable TV now. My dad's constantly hogging the TV and there is really nothing much to watch off cable networks. I won't even care if we cancel our Starhub cable TV subscription. For the occasional tennis matches I wanna watch, well, there are always online streams. Starhub's in shit now. Too bad. I'm sure soccer fans have to pay even more to feed their soccer addiction now. None of my business. Shrugs.