Growth

Returned from cellgroup not too long ago. I'd say we're still in the "warming" stages, where we get to know one another better. I think cellgroup is an excellent platform for me to improve on my interpersonal skills. Of 'cos that is not the main purpose of cellgroup lah but it helps in this area also. It's good for me 'cos I'm not good at public speaking. That being shared, I don't want to reduce cellgroup into a social club of some sort 'cos it isn't and shouldn't be. However, the fact is cell meeting "forces" me to share about my life, which is a good thing. By articulating my thoughts and feelings, it can help me to better understand myself and also allow others to better understand me. It's interesting how we kicked off our first cell meeting last week by touching on the importance of being committed to one another's lives and not just be a "spectator".

Initially I was a little overwhelmed by the number of questions they asked, but I guess it is normal to be curious and interested in another person's life. It is also right for me to give them answers (in a courteous sense). However, I believe in sharing only when I want to. I get kinda annoyed (defensive?) when people try to pry into my life so usually I'd just shut up and not say much (I'm quite good at ending conversations) but because I could feel their sincerity and good intentions, it'd be evil of me to shut them out. I mean, I could do that but I don't see how that helps me, so I'm learning to be more open to sharing of my life and my thoughts. The first meeting was kinda awkward for me so I couldn't bring myself to say much but I did better tonight. :) Yay. Tonight, I shared quite a lot, by my standards. I believe I can learn a lot from the older people in cell. They have a whole wealth of experience and have "seen the world". It'd be silly if I don't jump at the chance to learn from them, logically speaking. And I don't want to be silly. The cell can only work if the people are real and open with sharing their true thoughts, feelings, and struggles. Don't you think a truly strong person is one who is able to share his/her weakness with others? Of 'cos that is if the person is not saying it to gain pity and attract attention lah. It requires more from someone to place himself/ herself in a vulnerable position by being completely honest to another person...and I respect people who are able to do this. I guess this line of thought helps me to be more forgiving towards other people's faults and mistakes, which is a good thing. After all, no one is perfect. It is perfectly normal to stumble in life once in a while so it's okay. Really, it's ok. :)

I really want this cellgrp to work. Not to work for work's sake but to really witness growth in each other's spiritual and personal lives. That is the ultimate reason for the existence of a cellgrp. We help one another along the way. I just have to be more involved in other people's lives, to be more concerned about their lives. Yeah, and the good thing is...I want to.

After all, growth is something we should all look forward to.