Seriously, I am quite stressed now. I have an interview tomorrow with a foreign bank for a 1-year contract job. The job is more administrative-based so the pay is really nothing fantastic. I'm doing some research on the bank and its work culture now and what I've read so far are all negative reviews. The banking industry apparently has many bitchy people, bitchy beyond belief. I've worked temp for a local bank before and I really liked the people there. They were really fine people. I don't know lah. I'm not even sure if banking is the industry I want to go into. How ah. I am a more cautious person, yes. I think like light years ahead before I make a decision. Haha. I'm exaggerating lah but I'm the sort who would usually think twice before making important decisions.
Whatever it is, we'll see how things go. If God opens the door for me then ok, I'll do the job. If the door is closed...then I know another job is awaiting, one that is more suitable for me. Thinking too much doesn't do me any good. Yeah.
Added @ 1:59pm: It is still NOT easy gaining entrance to the banking field, despite the financial meltdown. It seems many are still dying to get into this industry. Haha. I'm taking things in my stride now 'cos I don't want to stress myself too much. I am doing some research and stuff now, to prepare for the interview, but I don't want to place too many stress on myself. I didn't even apply for this job man. The agent just called me to introduce this job to me. I met the agent on Mon and I thought the short interview with her went fairly well. In the past, I couldn't even speak properly during interviews, due to nervousness, a lack of self-belief and confidence. Now, improved already. At least I am able to do better than to give one-line replies. Haha. I suppose mixing around with more people really helps in the area of confidence. It is with constant interactions with others that you can better read non-verbal cues and response in an appropriate manner. In summary, to learn to press the right buttons and relate in a way that leaves a pleasant impression on the other party. So where does confidence come from? This is a question I have been asking the past few months. Of 'cos ultimately, my confidence comes from God, but there is also an element of faith involved when I decided to move out of my comfort zone and start mingling with more people. I am still not considered a social butterfly, definitely not, but I'm learning to be more outgoing. Honestly, I really don't remember myself being so "isolated" in the past. I lean towards the introvert side but I can be very chatty & crappy. There is a reason why friends describe me as crappy. LOL. It is only in the recent few years when I got totally comfortable just doing my own thing and staying at home, that I became too lazy to go out and socialise. Haha. 宅女!Bwahaha. I'm actually proud being a 宅女 leh. Haha. :)
Whatever it is, I'm glad. I'm glad of whom I've become. It has been a bumpy journey (the past 20+ years of my life) and there were decisions which I wish I hadn't made, or had made...but they all don't matter. All the decisions, experience, etc. make me who I am, don't they? Maybe this is a sign that I am truly comfortable with myself now. :) There is an unexplainable feeling of gratefulness within me. Yup. Wish me luck!
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