They say the workplace is like a jungle, filled with predators, and where only the fittest survives. This is true to an extent; the workplace is not an easy place to "enjoy". There are so many considerations: having to please your boss, maintain good relationships with colleagues, know how to push work that doesn't belong to you back to the person involved in a manner that doesn't hurt the relationship (i.e. taichi), PR-ing with everyone you see. In essence, it is important to be nice yet not a pushover.
The colleague seated beside me has some issues. She has been feeding me some "advice", which I find...very logical in a worldly sense but it is not the kind of lifestyle I want to live within the workplace. I know that whatever she shared with me is out of kindness (I chose to believe that) but I believe there is a better way to live out my life. Maybe this "better way" is not that brilliant in the eyes of men but I believe that God is in control so essentially, the pressure is off me. There is this book by Larry Crabb called The Pressure's Off. That book really ministered to me and gave me the hope to carry on. We are really not meant to carry so much on our shoulders.
Honestly, there was a period when I first started this job when I felt really pressured and frustrated, and because of that stress, I was turning into someone whom I really disliked. I didn't want that and I still don't want that. I don't want the workplace to change me into someone who is self-centred and impatience, only looking out for my own interest by doing everything in a calculated manner. It is so simple to turn into someone calculative and manipulative and find reasons to justify why I have to act this way. I want to be someone who is secure in my identity and position. There is no need for me to engage in competition with others, to play the political game and constantly think at the back of head what I should do to get to a certain end. It is TOO TIRING living like this. I find that some of my colleagues (those around my age) are already playing these games. I know everything could be an act, for show but still...I want to treat them right and not judge them too quickly. The problem is we judge too quickly. Seeing one side of the picture and we start thinking that we are short-changed, at the losing end. We only care about how we feel and whatever there is any benefit in it for us. Actually when we place ourselves in the other party's shoes...the perspective could be different. Is there the possibility that we would act in the very same (despicable) way too? I'd say definitely. Humans are very vulnerable. Anyone is susceptible. The very thing you think you would never do...you might just do, if the circumstance allows for it.
I'm trying to see the big picture from a 3rd party's point of view. My workplace's atmosphere is quite depressing at the moment. I saw my colleague crying while pouring her sorrows to another colleague just before I left office. I mean, how depressing is that. I don't know what she has gone through over the past year she has been working here. I haven't encountered much of the political fire because I'm still very new. Maybe there are people who are bitching about me behind my back, I don't know. Doesn't matter. To see this from a rational point of view, it is impossible to please everyone and we sometimes rub each other the wrong way. People will always find a reason to bitch about others. Somehow bitching makes me feel better our own situation and ourselves.
Actually I'm learning to take stories I hear from others with a pinch of salt. Everyone has their own point of view about a situation. Maybe person A could see this matter in this way but person B views the same matter in a completely different light. Humans are subjective, after all. I've heard A LOT of stories about so many people in office. Some are nice stories...some not so nice. Well, I'm just going to treat everyone neutrally 'cos unless I've experienced and seen the person's true character for myself, I don't want to come to a conclusion. I believe that most people are nice and that many times, they are made to act in certain ways because of the circumstances they are in. Ain't I positive? Perhaps it is because there is a part of me that hopes that others will choose to view me like that too. I wouldn't want others to label me too quickly.
There is quite a lot to ponder about about work life. I aspire to stay above my circumstance and to be true to myself, which can be quite a challenge when work piles up and people piss you off left, right, and centre. The good thing is that we have a fresh start with every new day. :) Bad day today, good day tomorrow! As long as we have a tomorrow, there is a reason to continue going on. :) Mindless working is really meaningless and I don't want to live a sad existence. I don't want to merely survive, I want to truly live. Unless there is a purpose in life, there is really no reason to keep going on. It is because of work that I am spending more time with God and seeing how He is working in my life.
I have many areas to work on, especially on my attitude (sometimes it really stinks), but I don't want to place too much pressure on myself. WE WERE NEVER MEANT TO CARRY SO MUCH ON OUR SHOULDERS!
This entry is a little all over the place. I've been reflecting a lot lately- about work and the whole point of it all. This entry is a small bit of what is going on inside my head. Yep.
For those working: enjoy work!
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