Gosh, I am still thinking should I get this micro 4/3 camera. The single lens kit will cost close to S$1.3k and the twin, close to S$1.6. Am I even an avid photographer, avid enough to go deep into all the technicalities of such a system? Probably not...but would I enjoy better quality photos and subsequently grow a passion for photography- perhaps. Lemme mull over it for a few months. If I do get it, it will probably be before my planned Taiwan trip in Oct.
Yes I am going to Taiwan! Yay! I bought the tickets and booked my accommodations already. Can't believe it is really happening but it is. About time lah. My last real overseas trip (Malaysia not included) was to HK in late 2008. That was almost 3 years ago! Gasps. Till then, it's a battle at work! There is a lot of work to be done. I need to do something about my speed. Sometimes there is really no time to keep considering/ worrying which is the "right" way to phrase or ask something or whether my checks are thorough enough. I dislike being a worry-wart. It doesn't demonstrate the sureness a Christian should have but I know I tend to take myself a little too seriously, which inevitability inflicts a lot of stress on myself. I don't believe this is how life should be lived and I am very sure about this. It's the old nature within me that tends to surface. I am always reminded that there is really no point in worrying because tomorrow will worry about itself and each day there is enough trouble on its own. I cannot add a single hour to my life by worrying. Haha, I just summarised Matthew 6: 25-34. Doesn't it bring comfort knowing that God knows our weaknesses and addressed them in his word to us? :)
It's during my lowest points in my life that the promises of God gives me to hope to carry on. I think that's important because how sad it is to live life without hope. It's as good as not living because there is nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to. One re-occurring prayer I pray is for God's guidance. There are so many choices in life and sometimes I really don't know which path to take or decisions to make. This has become all the more relevant after I entered the workforce. It is truly not easy balancing so many different acts all at the same time. All the expectations and pressure can break someone down- someone who is cannot deal with it all. It was pretty hard for me a while for me back because I piled too much pressure on myself and it sort of back-fired. The lousier I felt about myself, the worst I performed. It became a nightmare, a self-fulfilling vicious cycle. It was also that period that I questioned if this job is for me- whether I am suited for this job. It was pretty bad. Thank goodness I had wonderful colleagues and a boss, whom I managed to sort of reconcile with. There was a period when he became quite irritated with me because of the mistakes I made. He didn't really say it but I could feel it and understandably la, it's normal to get annoyed when your employee keeps making mistakes. That was the period when I entered the seemingly unending vicious cycle. It felt like forever. That phase seems to be over now, thank God. :)
I've realised I have to at least give myself a year to see if I can do this job and put in the extra effort to do well in it. Giving up too easily is my weakness so I want to persevere in this, to do my best, so that at the end of the day if this job is really not suited for me, at least I've tried and can answer to myself. I'm also not alone on this journey. God has really blessed me with great colleagues who aid me along the way. There is this one senior whom I really appreciate. She was the one I mentioned in a previous post who went out of the way to teach me about trust structures. She mentioned the other day that colleagues are just working partners and it is not a given that we will make good friends with colleagues (this is in relation to another issue within my team). Words of wisdom indeed. There is some internal conflict within my team. One member cannot get along with the other. One of them really has poor EQ skills and is causing a lot of strain within the team. Personally I am neutral. I mean that member's character is like that, I accept that but my other colleague can't quite accept that. Clash in personalities. I was also accused of siding the bad behaviour colleague. I mean, yes, that colleague has bad behaviour but there is always two sides to a person, isn't it. It's not that right to force someone to complain about another just to "show support". I didn't join in the chorus of complains and so received some flak for that. Oh well. My senior is super funny. She told me to share with the rest abt the chopsticks story. One chopstick- easy to break. Five chopsticks- not that easy to break. Basically, she was reminding us of the importance of teamwork lah. Very true. I laughed when she told me the story tho'. My goodness, isn't that the story we have all heard when we were kids. Haha. But yeah, she really taught me a lot and I think she makes a good leader. She's the kind who will make you wanna work harder for her. :)
Yep. And another word of wisdom that can see you through your entire life: Have the Word of God as your map and the Holy Spirit as your guide.
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